Is Loyalty Overated

I had some time to kill the other day while waiting for Uber surge pricing to come down, so I grabbed a seat at the bar of a crowded restaurant. Of course someone started to chat me up, and in DC conversations with strangers often begin the same way:

"So, what do you do for a living?"

When I told him what I did and that I'd been with the same organization for over a decade, he looked genuinely surprised.

That reaction stuck with me.

There was a time when staying with one employer for decades was considered the smartest career move. Loyalty was often rewarded with promotions, pensions, and long-term job security. Today's workforce looks very different.

Research from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that the median employee tenure in the United States is only about 3.9 years, and younger workers change jobs even more frequently. Studies from multiple compensation firms have also found that employees who strategically change jobs often see significantly larger pay increases than those who stay with the same employer year after year.

It's not hard to understand why.

Many workers have watched profitable companies lay off thousands of employees, eliminate departments after mergers, or restructure following private equity acquisitions. In many cases, strong performance and years of dedication weren't enough to guarantee security.

That doesn't mean loyalty has no value. It means loyalty should be mutual.

Be committed to your mission, your team, and doing excellent work but never stop investing in yourself. Learn new skills. Earn certifications. Expand your network. Build a reputation that travels with you because your greatest career security isn't the company you work for, it's the value you bring wherever you go.

Companies manage assets. You should manage your career with the same level of intention.

Loyalty is admirable. But in today's economy, adaptability is often what keeps your career moving forward. 

Fashion at the Library: Sole Power: Sneaker Culture and the American Stor

Earlier this week, my sister-in-love invited me to an incredible event at the Library of Congress: Fashion at the Library: Sole Power: Sneaker Culture and the American Story.

The event was hosted by Jared Moskowitz, whose passion for sneakers goes far beyond collecting them. As a lifelong sneaker enthusiast, he helped found the Congressional Sneaker Caucus to bring people together over a shared appreciation for sneaker culture. The caucus was created as a bipartisan space where members of Congress can connect through a common interest while recognizing how sneakers intersect with fashion, business, innovation, sports, and American culture. It's a reminder that sometimes the things we have in common can open the door to conversations that go beyond politics.

What made the event stand out was the diverse backgrounds of the panelists. Each speaker brought a unique perspective shaped by their own experiences in design, education, manufacturing, retail, and advocacy.

D'Wayne Edwards shared his inspiring journey from designing shoes for some of the world's biggest brands to creating opportunities for the next generation of Black creatives. Through Pensole Lewis College and JEMS by PENSOLE (one of the first Black-owned athletic footwear factories in the United States) he is helping aspiring designers learn the craft, manufacture their own products, and build sustainable careers. His work is creating pathways that didn't exist for many young Black designers just a generation ago.

Sean Williams, co-founder of SOLEcial Studies, spoke about using sneaker culture as an educational tool. His work demonstrates how something as familiar as a pair of sneakers can open conversations about history, design, business, marketing, and culture, making learning more engaging and relevant for young people.

Matt Priest, President and CEO of the Footwear Distributors & Retailers of America (FDRA), offered valuable insight into the footwear industry's economic impact, manufacturing, retail, policy, and the future of the business. His perspective highlighted how sneakers are not just fashion,  they're a major driver of innovation and the American economy.

Presented in partnership with the Congressional Sneaker Caucus, the event explored how sneaker culture has become a powerful form of self-expression while also shaping American industry and entrepreneurship.

I left with a greater appreciation for everything that goes into the shoes we wear every day, not just the design and technology, but the stories, history, and people behind them. All the speakers spoke about how sneaker Culture shaped there childhood and how it wasn't just about getting a sneaker that everyone else had but about figuring out a way to individualize the sneaker to make it your own. It was one of those events where you walk away having learned something new from every person on the stage.

Teacher Can't Do It Alone: Why Parenting Still Matters

Teachers can't do it alone. If parents aren't parenting, it makes our job exponentially harder. It truly takes a village to raise a child, and children thrive most when the adults in their lives are working together.

Learning doesn't stop when a child leaves the classroom. Children are constantly learning from what they see, hear, and experience at home, in school, and in their communities. That's why consistency matters. When the expectations, routines, and values being taught at school are reinforced at home, children are more likely to succeed academically, socially, and emotionally.

One of the biggest parenting trends right now is "gentle parenting." The problem is that many people misunderstand what gentle parenting actually means. Being gentle doesn't mean having no rules, no consequences, or letting children do whatever they want. Too often, people focus on the gentle part and forget the parenting part.

Many parents don't even realize they have a parenting style. Research has identified four main parenting styles:

• Authoritative – Warm, responsive, and supportive while also setting clear expectations and consistent boundaries. These parents guide, teach, and hold children accountable.

• Authoritarian – Strict and demanding, with an emphasis on obedience. Rules are enforced with little discussion, warmth, or flexibility.

• Permissive – Loving and accepting but lacking structure and consistent boundaries. Children are often given significant freedom with few expectations.

• Uninvolved – Detached and minimally engaged. These parents provide little guidance, supervision, or emotional support.

Of the four, research consistently shows that the authoritative parenting style produces the best outcomes for most children. It balances love with limits, support with accountability, and freedom with responsibility. Children need warmth, but they also need boundaries. They need understanding, but they also need guidance. The goal isn't to be your child's best friend...it's to be the parent they need while helping them become successful, capable, and responsible adults.

We often mistake the loudest voice in the room for the strongest leader.

We often mistake the loudest voice in the room for the strongest leader. But history shows that our obsession with “alpha” charisma is relatively new. For generations, people were valued more for character than performance, integrity over image, substance over self-promotion.

Somewhere along the way, society shifted from rewarding inner virtue to rewarding outward personality. We started treating confidence as competence and visibility as value. The result? Many thoughtful, capable people are overlooked simply because they are quieter.

As educators, leaders, and professionals, we should challenge that mindset.

Not everyone with social anxiety lacks ability. Not every introvert lacks leadership skills. Sometimes the person with the fewest words is the one paying the closest attention, thinking the deepest, and leading with the most intention.

Look for the quiet substance on your team, not just the person with the polished elevator pitch. The best leaders don’t always dominate the room. Sometimes they create the kind of environment where everyone else can thrive.

Dating A Single Father

Being with someone who has children comes with some baggage that not everyone is ready to take on. There isn't really a casual way of going into in my opinion. When I tried getting back out there and women would say "I don't date men with kids" I didn't take it personal. Even though I had no drama I understood why some wanted to avoid the situation all together. I wasn't looking for a replacement mom, so anyone I was seeing wasn't meeting my daughters anyway unless we made it to month 6 or 9. If we just casual I don't even know you when my kids are around. 

Dating a man with kids comes with many positive aspects. Most men who are actively in there children lives already have there sh*t together. (There is always the exception to the rule but that also tells you what you need to know). Aint nobody got time to play games when you checking to see if the fruit snacks are on sale. The joys of parenthood being witnessed can make even the hardest f*ck them kids woman go awww, so you'll have plenty of women ready to play step momma for couple nights. But hey I digress. 

Now on to some of the potential red flags. In the beginning it can be hard for a single father to find balance between work, the kids and you. Then when you throw in the potential conflict that could arise between the ex who he had made that f*ck trophy with (Alexa play bad blood by Taylor Swift) and now you got drama. A little conflict is normal when trying to raise children in multiple households but if the breakup is fresh(he still smashing) the level of conflict could be a deal breaker. If there is excessive animosity or constant drama with an ex-partner that is a major red flag. Continuous battles and unresolved issues can negatively impact your relationship and create a tense environment for everyone involved. Pay attention to how your potential partner handles co-parenting and communication with his ex. You cant be afraid to ask questions and be ready to have those hard conversations. When it comes to kids you can't be half in and half out. Remember they don't really have a choice of being in the situation. You do...so move accordingly. 

Conclusion:

Dating a man with children can be awesome and workout for all parties involved if done right. It comes with it's challenges like any other relationship, but with good communication, patience and honesty, you can build a strong and loving blended family. So if you choose to take this journey, embrace it, lead with love and cherish the moments. Kids grow fast and we never forget the way bonus parents made us feel because they had a choice. 

Finding The Perfect Portion Size For Kids

Have you ever wondered if that giant glob of mac & cheese you packed your kid for lunch was enough for lunch? Food portions have become a lot bigger, and because of this determining the right portion size for our children has become a little distorted. Children need the same variety of nutrient rich foods as adults, just in smaller quantities. I often see children with enough food in their lunch bags to feed a grown man. Defining your child serving size is actually not as complicated as you may think. A child-size portion of meat is about what would fit in your little boy or girls palm. For whole-grain carbs, such as brown rice or pasta, a serving is roughly the size of his/her fist. -- This measurement also applies to fruits, veggies, and dairy products such as yogurt. A serving of cheese is about thumb-size, and for munching on snack foods, think a handful. The great thing about this system is that it works no matter what your child's age is. As his/her hand grows so does their appetite, so you don't have to memorize portions.

Most 2–3-year old's need to consume about 1,000 calories per day. Here’s how to distribute those calories in a healthy eating plan:

• Grain Group: 3 ounces per day, preferably half of them whole grains, (3 regular slices of bread or 1 slice of bread plus 1/3 cup cold cereal and 1/4 cup cooked pasta or rice.)

• Vegetable Group: 1 cup raw/cooked per day.

• Fruit Group: 1 cup fresh, frozen, canned, dried, and/or 100% juice per day. (I would emphasize whole fruits rather than juice because the fiber in the whole fruits help to slow down the sugar rush and insulin spike.)

• Dairy Group: 2 cups of whole milk per day is recommended for children younger than 2. Older children can have low-fat/fat free milk, yogurt and cheese.


• Meat and Beans Group: 2 ounces total per day. Options include one ounce of lean meat or chicken plus one egg or 1 ounce of fish plus 1/4 cup of cooked beans (black, pinto, etc.)

• Oils: 3 teaspoons or less per day.

For younger children you should minimize sweet drinks, snacks and desserts. Children have small stomachs and these foods take up space needed for nutrient rich foods. 

Week In My Life / We’re Back At The Arnold Classic

They Said The Perfect Biceps Workout Didn’t Exist (Haa)

This is a routine I use at the end of my training session but it can also be used as a stand alone workout.

Try it for yourself and tell me what you think. Full workout details on youtube.

Last Reps of Murph

Finally uploading this video from memorial day. I wasn't going to upload it at all because one of the other cameras footage wouldn't load. I managed to splice some footage from our phones so here ya go.

Star Wars Day

Simple Daily Habits to Help You Make Every Day Better

Chest & Tri Workout

Chest Press - 1 or 2 warm up sets - 2 working set - last one is drop set

Incline Dumbbell Press - 3 sets

Dumbbell Fly - 2 sets

Dumbbell Pullover - 2 sets

Triceps Pulldown - 2 sets with bar and 2 sets with rope

CrossFit vs Bodybuilder

Chest/Triceps/Abs (with reps and sets)

You have to do the WORK

People always need a push. They need a thing, some kind of motivation or something to get them going. I always thought it was BS when people would ask me "Well how do you get the motivation to train every day" I would look at them like they where crazy because I truly didn't understand. My mindset was if I wake up, I'm training. If I wake up and it's raining, I'm training. If I wake up and it's snowing, I'm training. You see my gym was inside of my job, so my mindset was if I can go to work then I can train. I never understood the need for motivation until the pandemic. I've been home from work since March. I've watched every TV series, documentary, and movie on my netflex list. After two months of not being able to go to my gym and doing the same thing every single damn day I just excepted my new life and stopped putting on pants. I was ready to embrace my new sloth life and then good ol Facebook algorithm showed me an old vid of me training with the caption "motivation is fickle. It comes and goes but dedication...dedication is a choice. " You may be feeling the same way I was feeling and looking for some kind of reason to get going. So I'll tell you the same thing I told myself. You have to be your own motivation. Your dedication to yourself has to be the motivating force that gets you to do all the things. You have to do the work. I believe in you, but you have to believe in you. Now GET YO A$$ UP off that couch and lets goooo. 💪🏾If you need any help fell free to reach out to me.

Full Body Circuit

Quarantine Workout Day?����‍♂️

Upper Body Home Video Circuit

Movement & Story Time

Upper Body Home Workout

Todays workout: 4 Sets
Do all exercises to failure. Take 30-45 sec breaks between sets.
Shoulder Press
Skull Crushers
Front to side raises
Bent over rows
Pushups
YTW's
Cross Scissors
Crunch


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